We all have a tendency to judge the situations that happen in our life and the people that we rub shoulder with.

‘But hey’, you might say,  ’don’t we all love to give our opinion and bitch about a situation or a person at times?’

True enough.  But the question is:  Does this really empower us?  Do we feel better deep inside when we are doing this as a daily habit?

Life today requires us to take decisions fast… and because of this there is a tendency to judge a situation and others without reflection. 

But when we spend too much time judging, dwelling on the past, or imagining the future, we miss the beauty and power of the moment.  We start asking the wrong questions and our focus becomes negatively attuned.

If we have a  judging mind the type of questions we normally ask on a daily basis are:

What’s wrong with this person?

What’s wrong with this situation?

What’s wrong with me?

What do I need to do to stay in control?

Who is to blame; who’s fault is it?

How can I win and make this bastard loose?

How can this go wrong?

Why does this always happen to me?

If it failed before why won’t it fail again?

 

Most of the time such a mind set reflects a sense of lack of trust and fear -  lack of trust in one’s personal capabilities and a lack of trust in others. 

Most of the time this is driven by FEAR – fear of inadequacy and fear due to scarcity mentality.  Instead of believing there is enough out there for everyone, we fear that unless we bear our teeth and lash out at the world we will not enjoy the spoils of the survivors.

Research show that human being only naturally fear three things: falling, high places, and tight spaces.  But a judging mind creates fear by focusing on a negative ‘what if’ and imagining a terrible future.  Fear will make us live a contracted life.  We feel physically and emotionally contracted when we live in fear.  On the other hand, the opposite emotion of fear is love.  Love helps us to expand to the world.  We feel grounder, energized, and in touch with our whole being – in other words a state of bliss.

It’s true that we do have to be smart in the world.  We must be open to act on the opportunities that life presents us -  doing otherwise would be irresponsible.  If we do not use our God given talents and if we do not become the best that we can be, we will be rescinding on our Life Purpose.

But this does not have to be at the expense of others.

We can be winners in life and still build bridges and help others to achieve success too.

If we embrace the Curious Explorer mind-set we are more likely to be open to others and feel a sense of curiosity and awe about life – the awe we lost for the world as we started growing up and becoming ‘smarter’. 

If we become Curious Explorers the type of questions we would ask would be:

What is the meaning of this experience?

What is there to feel gratitude for here?

What new experience can I enjoy?

What can I learn from this?

What are the choices I can take?

How can I become excited with the possibilities I see?

How can this help me and others?

How can I tap my growth and potential in this situation?

 

Asking the right questions will put us in a mind frame of positive exploration for solutions rather than in a ‘blame culture’ mind set.

So if you find yourself trapped in the Judging mentality ask yourself:

• What fear is fueling this feeling?
• What can I learn about myself and my beliefs from this fear I have?
• What can I feel gratitude for?
• What is wonderful about this situation/person?

Remember by nurturing Love for life you will be banishing fear.

Death remains the ultimate mystery.

We have no positive proof that anyone ever came back from the dead to tell the story of what awaits us after this life.  You might refer to the Resurrection of Christ if you are a Believer and there are also the ever increasing reports of Near Death Experiences that continuously gain more credibility as study after study fails to disprove the possibility that consciousness remains beyond physical existence.

But in the end it is up to you to believe or disbelieve in life after death… and this is my statement that I truly believe that we do survive death… and that life on earth is  a journey that provides us with opportunities to develop ourselves and to experience the beauty of life.

Today, one of my Coaching Clients  was telling me how much she misses her mother who passed away a few years.

The client was very close to her mum and so I thought I would dedicate a post to her.  My client is a very brave lady in spite of some challenges in life and I wanted to write this as a reminder that death is not the final word in the chapter of Being and existence.  I am sure many of you know the story but it’s worth revisiting:

The Dragonfly Story

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

“Look!” said one of the water bugs to another. “one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?” Up, up, up it slowly went….Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return…

“That’s funny!” said one water bug to another. “Wasn’t she happy here?” asked a second… “Where do you suppose she went?” wondered a third.

No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. “I have an idea”. “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.”

“We promise”, they said solemnly.

One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings…The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.

The dragonfly remembered the promise: “the next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why.” Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water…

“I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least, I tried. But I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what has happened to me, and where I went.”

And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air…….

Thank you God, for the story of the water bugs and the dragonflies.

Remember that your dear relatives who have passed on to a better life may be nearer to you than you realize!

Wow!

I never cease to amaze myself with the opportunities that life presents to those who take risks and  test the waters – to those who have an abundance mentality!

Yesterday, I had two meetings with a couple of very interesting persons who hail in some way from the self-help field.  I was impressed by the work these two people are doing and it is a privilege for me to have met them and added them to my list of new friends and potential partners.

It’s incredible how many people are out there doing a lot of interesting and exciting things … and it is really great when you get to connect with these people and start networking.

Now you might be saying ” Well maybe it’s going dandy for you Reggie , but how can I trigger off some opportunities for myself then?’

I’ll let you in on a simple but powerful insight.

Having a clear focus of what you want in life and taking action seems to trigger off a chain of events that lead to breakthroughs in your life.   You start to attract towards you the experiences you are focusing on.

That’s why it is important to discover what’s  your passion in life…what you really want to create…what Big Dream you want to achieve.

And when you do that …and when you start taking Massive Action it is as if Providence responds too and you start noticing ‘coincidences’ happening in your life – potential opportunities that hang out in front of you like a ripe juicy peach waiting to be picked.

As my Life Coaching experience continues to mature I find myself manifesting more and more opportunities in life, more chances of making a difference in other people’s life and more potential to develop new ideas.  I am getting to meet new clients, new partners and new people who have exciting ideas and skills.

There is Abundance in the Universe – a limitless tapestry of opportunities waiting to be tapped….. but you first have to be clear about what you want; what is your Life Purpose; what you truly value in life; what opportunities you want to take; what Big Dream you want to achieve.

And when you do that and when you identify what truly flows from your True Nature and what drives your fulfillment – TAKE YOUR FIRST ACTION  and sharpen your attention to identify opportunities – and take them.

So are you ready to test the waters like cutie pussy cat?

Are you ready to stop finding reasons why you are not achieving success and start focusing on getting results?

Take the first step to live a life of Abundance and passion.

And if you want some help on the way visit www.insightzonecoach.com or else check out my List of Services by clicking HERE

Is your life a Speedy Gonzales cartoon?

Do you find yourself rushing from one task to another without actually BEING in the moment?

How many times do you find yourself coursing through life making yourself busy with tasks that probably give you little meaning or fulfillment.  How many times do you pass through life without a second thought… without  appreciating the beauty that lies around you?

This week as I was jogging I just realized how much we take things for granted and through self-discipline,  I stopped myself in my tracks as I came upon a field.  My ‘doing’ person was saying ‘Reggie, are you nuts – get your arse back on the track and don’t waste time’

But my ‘being’ person was telling me ‘ Stop Reggie, and drink the moment’…. and I did.

For a moment I stopped my jogging and just breathed in the scene and watched the details of the leaves on the tree,  the bee that was hovering over a sunflower, the sound of a dog barking in the distance and the soft caress of the wind as it glided along the beads of sweat forming on my face.

Aaah!  how nice it is to stop and live the moment…

and as I was enjoying this pastoral moment a flock of pigeons swooped in perfect formation before me….. and I felt the powerful  connection to life, the feeling that everything is in order and that we are all connected to the ALL.

So next time you go jogging or walking don’t just drift through the chore aimlessly.  Put on the breaks when you arrive at a beautiful scene and drink in the moment… it will be taste of life you will truly savour if you are true to yourself.

Did you ever realize that the physical environment around you is crucial to the way you feel?
Your everyday environment – that is your home, your office or the area where you spend most of your time could influence your feelings and energy level.

Did you ever really stop for a moment and sense the vibes emanating from your environment?

If not it should be something you should experience and explore.

I am not throwing Feng Shui at you here.  It does not have to be something that is complicated or requiring artistic skills.

What I’m talking about is looking at the basic setup of your environment.

• Do you have clutter lying around?
• Do you have a tendency to hoard things?
• Do you have too much stuff stacked away in your cupboards- mostly stuff you do not use?
• Most importantly- does this clutter drain your energy?
• IS IT SOMETHING YOU ARE TOLERATING?

If you answered yes to most of the questions, then you need to trash this toleration.

Set up a Clean-Up Week and each day take no more than 30 minutes to focus on one small area to manage and remove clutter.

Chunk your activities.  Invade one cupboard or small area at a time and put your full focus on it.

And when you have stacked your unwanted stuff- get rid of it immediately.  Call bulk refuse immediately and just get rid of it without betting an eye.

You will find that once you trash your clutter your energy levels will increase drastically.

It’s incredible what  feelings  an elderly man burdened by a lot of pressures from the world media can generate.

Pope Benedict is in Malta – and although initially there was a feeling that the welcome would be lukewarm, the Maltese have risen once again to embrace the spirituality that gives meaning in life.

Although it may seem incomprehensible for some people, the energy generated by the pope… the feelings of love, compassion, excitement respect and enthusiasm shown by the children and the people is just incredible.

The pressure on the pope related to the  issue of paedophile scandals is enormous and it must really be a big burden.  No one can ever justify such bad behavior by people who should be protecting the innocent – and it is not right that certain authorities tried to hide this.

I think as Christians we should be humble enough to accept that we  make mistakes like everyone, and maybe the Catholic Church has an opportunity to look with humility and understand what is happening, what are the signs of the times and what can be done to prevent this…..

Having  said this…

I think that even the perpetrators of these acts are humans who need help, even if the act itself was horrible… and we must  be careful not to  judge the people themselves, but the acts they do, even if they still should pay for the consequences.

Let us also remember with gratitude the great work that the Catholic Church does around the world… the many missionary charities like Mother Theresa’s,  the help done in silence by priests, brothers and laymen in Church institutions……

Let’s learn to look at and celebrate what is beautiful, what is good, what gives sustenance and hope to Man’s Spirit.

The reality is that the priests of the Church  are humans with good intentions but also with their fragility, and the Media, being what it is focuses only on  what’s wrong. And it could be argued that this is the Media’s job,  but unfortunately the many good deeds done are rarely recorded… we only want to know what shocks us.

The good news today was that the Pope did meet with the victims of paedophile abuse in Malta and it was a very moving and healing experience as expressed by one of the victims afterwards.

This is the beauty of reconciliation and healing of  wounds and it is something that can only happen if we as humans are humble and do not play God by trying to judge people, even if the actions are wrong.  We have to be careful not to be cynical by looking at what is negative only.

So, let’s make sure that we address ALL mistakes and acknowledge the damage done to people who suffered because of these scandals.

The victims of paedophile abuse did not deserve this suffering and they were victims who suffered because of the mistakes of others.  We must make these people feel that their pain is real and that we acknowledge this and open our arms to love them for their suffering.

But  let us also celebrate feel gratitude and acknowledge the beauty of good works that the Church has done over the years and is still doing EVERYDAY  in spite of its mistakes.

May God bless everyone and provide us with a structure such as the Church and other genuine Spiritual movements or Religions who  provide us with hope, love, connection and compassion for each other…..

And to my Maltese brothers and sisters…. enjoy the moment and enthusiasm of the Pope’s visit and let’s look at how we can connect and live in harmony together.

Let’s make this experience a lasting expression of a small nation with a big heart.

Goals and Goal setting have become such common buzz words that at times they tend to lose their relevance.

In today’s world you may at times wonder if, in fact, goal setting is truly the milestone of True Life Success.

Does goal setting guarantee you will lead a fulfilling life?

Will Goals in themselves create that sense of completeness and happiness that at times seems so evasive?

Are we rushing through life in search of ticking away goals and at the same time loosing our soul as we toil on the hamster’s wheel?

Do we actually NEED to have goals in life?

Well, can you drive a plane to its destination without a flight plan? I bet you would not dream of entering a plane captained by a nutty pilot who would not have a flight plan, now would you?

The fact is, we DO need goals in life. It’s just the TYPE of goals that can make the whole difference.

If we are creating superficial goals that merely depend on routine and what others expect of us, our goals may simply become a drudgery that give us no satisfaction in life. If we are simply influenced by goals that are glamorized by the materialistic media we may find ourselves achieving regular, uninspiring, short term goals- but the feelings of emptiness inside still remain.

So what kind of goals can power our passion for life? What goals can truly create a sense of meaning and intrinsic satisfaction?

It’s the goals that have a clear direction aligned to our Values and Life Purpose.

Unless you are really clear where you want to go – unless you have a real ‘Why’ you want to get there, your goals will remain superficial at best.

If you don’t know where you are going, how can you expect to get there?- Basil S. Walsh

So if you want to create goals that power your action you need to:

1. Clarify what your main Life purpose is and what legacy you want to leave behind you

2. Get clear about the Values you will choose to live by

3. Understand how these Values will effect the way that you take decisions in your life

4. Create your Big Dream based on your Life Purpose and Values

5. Clarify the important roles in your life, e.g. wife/husband, father/mother, professional etc.

6. Filter all your daily goals through the sieve of your Big Dream, Life Purpose, Roles and Values

7. Make the priority list of your goals based on these important Rocks of your life.

Once you filter your daily goals through your Core Values, Life Purpose and important Roles you will discover that your priority list of Goals changes. You will find it easier to slot your important goals high up in your priority ‘To Do’ list.

Your focus and actions will be so much sharper.

And what’s more? Because your Goals now flow from a meaningful direction influenced by your True Inner Essence your actions will require less effort and struggle.

When your goals flow from your Life Purpose and Values they will sustain you, not drain you.

So make sure you clarify your Core Values and set out a clear direction for you life- the goals will follow and power your Action.

To receive a FREE Report that provides information on the 10 Vital Keys to Life Success and other resources visit http://www.insightzonecoach.com

This is the Holy Week for Christians and I love to keep tradition alive.

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I used to go and visit the Holy Week Exhibitions when I was young and now I am doing it with my kids.  So today, Holy Friday I thought I would write a note of reflection after some visits to the Exhibitions that I did yesterday evening.

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In Malta the tradition of such exhibitions is really strong and it seems to be getting  even stronger.   Exhibitions of small statuettes depicting the Passion of Christ in private homes of people who open them up for public view,  live Enactments of the Passion in the streets and dramatical representations of the Last Supper seem to be sprouting in greater numbers in Malta.

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Why  do I see  this as important?

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Simply because it is a way of manifesting one’s Beliefs and Values- whatever those beliefs and values may be.   It is a way of bringing out tangibly in the material world an expression of the meaning one gives to life.  It is a colorful way of expressing the unique characteristics, traditions and traits of a country and its people.

I am amazed by the passion that people have.  People who spend weeks preparing their small statues and convert their garages into a devotional place open for the public to view.

I think that whatever your personal views about religion and spirituality may be, the fact that such people have a clear set of values and are ready to publicly manifest them is an attribute to be admired.

We live in a world where many people feel lost and without direction.  People who have no clear idea what to believe and what to express externally about themselves.  A world that has at times become enveloped with shades of grey – shades of uncertainty and lack of clarity.

Looking back in history we can see that excessive religious zeal and blind beliefs have at times led to a lot of suffering and endless wars (and it still does).  So I am in no way promoting fervent fundamentalism – far from it because extremism can cloud my mind and make it closed to other people’s interpretation of what truth is.  Rather than understanding the spiritual message of love and connection that most religions promote, fundamentalism creates a shackled mentality that sees my beliefs and the rules I create around them as the only way to salvation – at the expense of appreciating and loving mankind.  The message of Christ and of most of the other great spiritual Leaders was that of love and compassion and we must all be careful that overzealousness does not snuff out this message.

However being fully aware of  your Values and Beliefs in life and having the guts to manifest them tangibly  is something that we require to consider seriously.

Are you clear about what you Value in life?  Can you speak clearly about your beliefs whilst totally respecting other people’s views?  Are you ready to extend yourself to others and create more fraternal love in this beautiful world of ours?

Whatever your  beliefs may be, I wish you all MANY BLESSINGS  in life and may your Beliefs and Values sustain you.

What’s wrong with this photo??? 

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Stop and have a good look at it……

Can you see the grossly mistaken perception that this picture can create in your mind?

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Yes, it’s a picture about the road that leads to Life Success.  A signpost that may indicate the importance of having a clear direction if you want to achieve your goals.

But what’s wrong with the picture?

Well, there are two UNUSUAL ways of  triggering Life Success.  I have just created another article on my Blog  where I explain all this in detail. 

In the article you’ll understand what’s wrong with this picture.

Go  and read the article now by clicking this link : 

CLICK HERE

I’ve come to the point where I can smile at myself and breath in a sigh of satisfaction.

How true it is that YOU CAN DO ANYTHING you want if you WILL it!

It took 7  focused months for me to finish my 10 Power Keys Program.  Seven months of solid work that raised my learning curve to sheer incredible heights – A level of knowledge expansion which I had never experienced before.

And during this process I was able to add two new labels to my personality:

1.  A writer

2.  An Internet Marketer.

This was a process during which I managed to enrich my skills and bring together a lot of bits and pieces that had been lurking at the back of my mind and in the hard disc of my computer.

Over the years my interest and passion for Life Coaching had been slowly kindling a desire to create something that would help me to connect all that I had learned in one cohesive expression…. and on the 5th August of last year I decided to do something about it.  It started out as an idea of writing a book on Life Coaching… but at the end of 7 months the book had transformed itself into a full blown  14 session  Life Coaching Program and an Internet project that includes 14 video clips.

And now I’m ready and I can celebrate the moment….

Do you realize how much potential you may have within you?

Can you imagine all the things you could do – only if you took a DECISION to start away and do your thing?

If you were to look at the bits and pieces that you gathered over the years, the small experiences, the interests, the material you have written …. what BIG Project could you work on to create?

So what are you waiting for….

P.S.  want some help?  why not visit www.insightzonecoach.com