Archive for Success Coaching
A Website worth visiting – Story of a New Ager turned Christian
Today I thought I would write a note about an interesting website I visited.
Marcia Montenegro set up this website after spending several years delving into the occult and New Age…. until finally she felt impelled to enter a Church and her life changed when she discovered Christ.
Her website is full of rich information about the effects of New Age, occult and other areas that seem quite attractive for young people but which may actually lead to a lot of problems.
If you would like to gain some in depth knowledge on the subject of the New Age and the Christian response to it visit the link below.
Well worth a visit!
Learning to be a Life Coach
Some of you might know that I am presently doing an MSc in Coaching with the University of East London.
Today I thought I would share some thoughts on this course and also provide some resources for those interested in looking into Coaching.
First of all what is Coaching? Really?
Well it is a way of helping people getting unstuck during situations in life where they may feel they need to tackle big decisions, review their life or if a person is going through difficult transitions. It helps people to become more effective, more resilient and more reflective as well as it being an opportunity for personal growth
The psychology of Coaching is based on a focus on Solutions and the future, rather than problems and the past. It is also strongly influenced by Positive Psychology and uses a number of models such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, the GROW Model (Goals, Reality, Options, Way Forward), NLP, Gestalt, Transpersonal Psychology and Solution Focused coaching.
So in a sense Coaching does use some techniques from therapy and counselling but the focus is not on exploring the past problems and just trying to get out of the rut. It is about moving forward towards the ideal future and using the skills to achieve your goals and arrive to your destination.
I am presently finishing my two last Modules in the MSc before I start my researchmodules and I must say that my course has been awesome. I really am enjoying it and I have learned so much through it.
I have done my Leadership and Organizational Coaching , and Health Coaching Module and presently am doing my Evidence Based Coaching and Psychological Perspectives of Self and Others. So you can imagine that this is really quite an interesting course if you like coaching.
Anyway, my future goal is to found an Academy of Coaching in Malta where those interested can learn the theoretical and practical skills of becoming a coach through actual one-to-one contact, instruction and role playing.
However if anyone is interested in doing something now I can provide you some contacts.
The University of East London where I am doing the course now: http://www.uel.ac.uk/psychology/coaching/
I was also contacted by Matt Green who writes articles on the Masters in Counselling website and he asked me to share this link with you. It’s called 30 Educational Resources for Life Coaches and it has very some interesting links provided. So it is worthwhile visiting:
( http://www.mastersincounseling.com/30-educational-resources-for-life-coaches ).
That’s all for today folks. I am off to study!
Regaining Integrity and how it lends itself to Leadership and Success
Today I have another contribution by Jack Lundee about the importance of Integrity in Leadership.
Jack Lundee is the chief editor of Everything Left and Shades of Green. Supporter of all things green and progressive, Jack has been extending his reach into the personal growth blogosphere and today he is reaching out to the Insightzone blog readers
Here’s his contribution :
One of the greatest qualities of leadership is integrity. In my opinion, integrity can be defined as honesty accompanied by the preservation of self and others around you. When somebody lacks honesty, it’s usually because of how he or she is programmed to think.
The human thought process is comprised into three different categories:
Perceptions
Imaginations
Beliefs
If you’re on a path to non-righteousness and your head is filled with dishonest and flawed thoughts, you’re more than likely not a leader, nor will you achieve ultimate happiness or success. Leaders have a tendency to affect others; they influence, empower and inspire -Altering your perceptions, beliefs and imagination can be quite a challenge, but there are some definitive ways for regaining integrity and becoming a positive influence.
First and foremost, you should become an example by leading the way. Whether it’s in business or your personal life, it’s always important for a confident leader to set an example or standard. For example, if you’re a teacher, you’ll always want to act on ethical principles and morals as to give your students a lesson in behavior. Treating one child unfairly or disciplining another in a different fashion can lead to ill-fated consequence, both for the student and your own self. Acting responsibly and declaring your thoughts in a manner that’s not harmful to others is another great way to set examples. Perhaps holding back on a swear word would be fantastic step in the right direction! Remember, your relationships with others are what really define your character and how you live. Whether they are romantic, civil, work or familial, all relationships must be treated with care, which leads me into my next point.
It’s always been wise to practice the golden rule (Treat others the way you want to be treated). Whether it’s a teacher-student confrontation, or perhaps a high stake investment game between world-renowned investment manager Daniel Zwirn and movie star Michael Douglas (Wall Street), treating people the way you wish to be treated should always be enforced. And if you’re on the outside of a situation where it is in fact not being practiced, perhaps this is a great opportunity to demonstrate your leadership abilities. Martin Luther King did just that in his famous civil rights speech by declaring his visions of an equal community. This is a great example of somebody who every person should emulate. His beliefs are what empowered him as a leader and visionary, and the same can be applied to anybody who’s lost their way.
Not only should you emulate popular leaders with ethical beliefs and perceptions, but also it always helps to stay away from crowds of folks that are already in troubled waters. People who’ve tasted the evils of cynicism and continue to indulge can have quite a contagious affect. These are what I like to call preventative measures. In any case, taking preventative action is usually the best action.
Their may always been a time when you feel like you’ve fallen off the integrity horse, and although it’s cliché to say, “The hardest part is getting back up,” it really is. It’s not always easy to remember a basic set of ethical practices and beliefs, especially if you’re a repeat offender whose perceptions have changed dramatically for the worse. For those who feel like they’ve gone past the point of giving up, it’s never too late to pursue success. A leader can clearly be defined through their level of character, how they interact with society and their ability to overcome these circumstances or adversity. Achieving positive and healthy human relationships is the ultimate goal, despite the situation or condition. Practicing some basic principles like emulating the right people, treating folks justly and setting an example for your audience are ultimate solutions for regaining intregrity and finding success as a leader.
Jack Lundee
http://everythingleft.wordpress.com
http://www.twitter.com/j_lundee
How a Life Coach Can Be The Pillar Needed To Be a Cancer Survivor
Today I have a special blog post brought forward to you by Emily Walsh.
I have never met Emily but she contacted me after visiting my website and asked if she could contribute to my blog.
Emily is a person who is facing her health challenges with courage and willful perseverance and through her blog she is trying to rally the hope of others. Please visit her blog and comment.
Thankyou Emily for sharing your thoughts with us!
Here’s her contribution:
Being diagnosed with cancer can take a devastating toll on the person and their family. It takes so much out of everyone just to remain optimistic and hope that everything works out. Whether the cancer is a rare aggressive disease like mesothelioma or a breast cancer diagnosis, it doesn’t matter. All forms of cancer have the same impact on the patient and the family, and it is very important to find as much peace of mind in such a mental state. One way to help achieve that is with the assistance of a life coach.
A life coach is pretty self-explanatory. They are people that help those that are troubled to gain control of whatever situation they are in. For a patient diagnosed with cancer, this means the world to them. The biggest hurdle that a cancer patient has to deal with is living every day and wondering how they will feel when they wake up in the morning. Cancer patients are always undergoing chemotherapy, and while family can and should be very supportive, often times, that isn’t enough. It’s tough on the family as well, to have to endure seeing one of their own suffering. A life coach can ease the burden on all people involved.
As said before, the mental and physical burden is what the cancer patient must face every day. The side-effects of chemotherapy can vary from patient to patient, but almost all the effects involve the patient feeling terrible. A life coach can help the patient look forward to the next day, despite the fact that there may be nothing to look forward to for the short term. The cancer patient must always be looking towards the long term future, that being when the patient is completely cancer free. The main goal of a life coach is to make sure that someone is there to talk with and watch the cancer patient at all times. It means the world to cancer patients just to have someone with them.
A life coach helps to ease the mental, physical, and emotional burden of a cancer patient by being with and communicating with them, but that is not all. Life coaches have a responsibility to communicate with the cancer patient’s family. They must give peace of mind to the family that the patient is fighting with every bit of energy left and that the patient is responsive to any and all questions asked. A life coach can give tips to the family on how to communicate with their cancer patient in order to make them feel better, as well as some activities that they respond well to.
A life coach may not be the cure for cancer, but if they can, at least, make the mesothelioma prognosis a bit easier to handle for the patient, then that is a job well done.
Emily Walsh
Em-Musings.blogspot.com
Outreach Director at Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance
Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog
How High Are Your Personal Standards?
One of the biggest dangers to success is complacency.
If you are living a comfortable life without any specific challenges you probably feel safe and relaxed within your comfort zones don’t you? You may slide back to looking for the path of least resistance without having to stretch yourself and grow. However what happens is that the lack of stimulation will finally get to you and you start looking for distractions. You may start drinking excessively; you may over-snack, start smoking or do other such activities that actually cause you harm. The fact is that if we do not grow as persons our standards are bound to slide back.
My advice is: don’t compare yourself to others who have lower standards than yours. Don’t feel smug because you might have reached a level where you feel at par or better in comparison to others. Compare yourself with your Values, with the richness of your goals and with the extent to which you are moving towards your Life Purpose.
Also keep in mind that the persons you associate with is what you will actually evolve into. If you associate with negative persons, there is a tendency for you to become negative too. If on the other hand you associate with positive persons you will absorb positive vibes that will help you to raise your personal standards.
With strong beliefs to back you up you can now compare the life you are leading at present with the life you want to create based on your identified Values, Principles and Life Mission. I am sure that your Dream is to achieve something bigger and better. Maybe you are already a great achiever and you just want to continue to build upon your successes. But even this requires that you raise the stakes.
Raising your Standards requires that you identify what you will no longer accept in your life. What you want to eject so that you can rise higher.
Just imagine you are flying in a Hot air Balloon – to gain more height you need to eject the sandbags that keep you grounded until the weight is reduced enough to let you lift off the ground and fly high.
Raising your standards could be related to a certain behavior you want to control such us negative self-talk, or procrastination. It could be certain Standards you had to adapt to because you chose to slide into the rut of compromising with your Values and Dream until you came to a state where you could no longer recall what your Dream looked like. If your behaviors are inconsistent with your Standards- with the new you and the new identity that you want to create this will cause you to be dissatisfied. Work this dissatisfaction to your favor. Use it as a lever to propel you forward to change. Use any frustration you may have to inject you into action.
Just imagine if Nelson Mandela had not raised his standards and kept to them. How would he have survived his long ordeal and imprisonment? It was his full commitment to his Standards, his strong belief, his certainty that Truth would finally prevail that lay behind his success. When asked how he could survive such an ordeal he stated that he had not survived- he had prepared for the future.
We must develop a sense of certainty that we can and will meet our new Standards before we actually start working on living them. Once we are committed to these new Standards we must never lower them again. Make it clear with those you care about what your new Standards are. Otherwise you will find that over time you may slip back to your old ways of doing things. You will slip a bit occasionally but it is important to rise immediately and move on.
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This is an excerpt from my Program the 10 Power Keys to Life Success. If you are interested to read more about the 10 Power Keys:t click on this link www.insightzonecoach.com to register for your free newsletter.
Leadership Traits That Power Your Success
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We have all experienced the difference that leaders can have on those who by choice or by default end up following their direction. Leaders yield a lot of power and their influence can lead to remarkable achievements or grave consequences.
It’s no surprise that Leadership requires a number of skills and traits that will practically move forward the process of change and growth that is required in today’s globalised world.
Today I am sharing with you a table that provides some Leadership traits that can make a big difference.
However it is very important to emphasize that it’s not just these traits which are important. The style of leadership must also fit the situation at hand, the resources available and the culture of the organization.
Leadership and Executive Coaching is one way you can hone your skills in leadership especially if you are in a transition phase or starting a new leadership post (for information on personal one-to-one coaching click HERE
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Honest |
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Competent & Decisive |
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Forward looking
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-Effective leaders envision what they want and how to get it. They habitually pick priorities stemming from their basic Values.
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Inspiring |
Do you display confidence in all that you do? Do you inspire the heart of people with your Vision and enthusiasm? Do you give hope to others? Do you manage to get the best out of the people that follow you?
-By showing endurance in mental, physical, and spiritual stamina, you will inspire others to reach for new heights.
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Intelligent |
Do you take decisions using your intelligence and common sense as well as your intuitive and emotional intelligence? Do you sharpen your saw, read, study, and seek challenging assignments to broaden your experience?
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Fair-minded
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Do you show fair treatment to all people? Do you protect those who are not present?
-Prejudice is the enemy of justice. Display empathy by being sensitive to the feelings, Values, interests, and well-being of others.
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Broad-minded
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Do you seek out diversity? Are you open to listen to new ideas from everyone including those whom you might not consider as ‘competent’ to give advice? Are you able to be non-judgemental and curious?
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Courageous
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Are you perseverant to accomplish a goal regardless of the seemingly insurmountable obstacles? Do you take risks and do you encourage risk taking in others? Do you display a confident calmness when under stress?
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Straightforward & firm
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Do you seek to simply things and find the most sensible solution? Do you use sound judgment to make a good decision at the right time? Can you be firm when necessary and draw a clear line in the sand? Can you make your boundaries, expectations and consequences for non compliance clear?
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Imaginative
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Do you show creativity by thinking of new and better goals, ideas, and solutions to problems? Do you make timely and appropriate changes in your thinking, plans, and methods?
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| Compassionate & Respectful | Do you treat your subordinates as if they were clients? Are you tuned to what others are thinking and feeling? Do you resonate in tune with others?
Are you compassionate and understanding? Do you put People first before achievements? Do you abide by the Golden Rule of ‘do unto others…’
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| Good listener & communicator | Do you listen to others more than you speak yourself? Are you open to suggestions? Do you synergise different opinions and come up with a win-win situation. Do you believe that between two opposing positions there always lies a Third Option?
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Humble |
Are you ready to serve and sacrifice your time to support others instead of taking all the glory? Do you encourage the heart and model the way by walking your talk? Are you ready to admit when you are wrong or when you lack knowledge?
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Accessible |
Are you accessible to people? Do you honestly believe that people are your best resource? Do you have provisions for people to communicate with you if required? Do you integrate with them on a regular basis? Are you in tune with the culture of your workplace?
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Keep your promises |
Do you always keep your promises? Have you a tendency to promise and then renegade on it?
-Under-promise over-deliver. Do not promise what you have no control over and be sure you can deliver before promising. Respect will be lost if you renege on your promises.
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Renew yourself and those around you |
Do you take time out to renew yourself. Do you expect and demand too much from yourself and those around you? Do you understand the importance of balancing self-sacrifice with renewal?
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7 Tips to Keep You Totally Committed to Your Goals
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Most of us do manage to come up with an idea of what we would like or what we ‘should’ have in life.
However most of us find it difficult to really focus on what we specifically want to achieve in life…. what EXACT goal we want to go after. This lack of clarity will lead to uncertainty and a limitation in powering our action to achieve what we want.
Even if we do manage to have clarity, an even greater number of us stumble on one of the most important attributes that influence life success: True and total Commitment to our Goals and Dream.
Here’s 7 tips you can use to help you remain committed to your Goals:
- Create compelling reasons for your goals. Once you have clarified EXACTLY what you want to achieve, make a list of compelling reasons why you want the goals and make sure that they flow from your values. The more you create compelling reasons, the more it will be easy for you to remain committed to your goals. Let’s say you want to achieve a goal of increasing your salary by $5000. Now list why you want this increase in salary and what it will give you. Maybe you would like to go to that holiday in the Caribbean you have always dreamed of doing, taking your family out on a camping adventure, start a new expensive hobby, buy a new car, give some of the money to a charity you would like to help. When you write down these reasons and make them clear you will create a powerful compelling impetus to push you forward and find ways to achieve your goal, no matter what the challenges are.
- Believe in your ability and stamina to win. That is believing that however grand, daring and compelling your Dream is you have the ability to achieve it. The fact that your Intuition and Inner wisdom led you to identify your specific Dream means that you will have the stamina to manifest your destiny.
- Raise your personal Standards. Unless you raise your standards and identify what you want to be and what you will no longer accept you cannot commit yourself fully. Committing yourself to new and higher standards will give you the momentum you need to stay at the top. Raising your standards is not something you do once but it is continuous – you need to continuously improve yourself and hone your skills and personal development. We will revisit the need to maintain constant and never ending personal improvement later on in the book.
- Take Decisions and never look back. Decisions are the ultimate power that will mobilize action and create influential shifts in your reality. You need to become skilled at taking decisions and look for opportunities to do so regularly. Even small decisions like choosing food from a menu can hone your skill initially. Learn to take decisions fast and enjoy taking them. If you have time to consider the pros and cons of a decision do so, but give yourself a time frame. When big decisions need to be taken make sure they flow from your Life Purpose and Values. Your decision to commit yourself to your Dream may be one of the most important decisions you will take in your life.
- Have role models and support systems to constantly inspire you. Role models you choose to inspire you can keep you committed because they serve as a constant reminder of where you want to be and who you want to become. If you have a role model try to get him or her to coach you or at least advice you. If you do not have personal contact with role models use what you have. Read motivational/ self help books and biographies regularly. Attend self-help Seminars. Take time out regularly to go to a place that inspires you and where you can connect with nature and with your Intuitive mind.
- Avoid negative people and connect to positive ones. To remain committed avoid what can drain your energy and commitment levels. Negative people can contaminate your will and commitment levels if you are not careful. Inspire such people or else reduce contact to the bare minimum. On the other hand associate with positive people so that you boost each other’s commitment levels.
- Share your dream. Tell everyone what your Dream is. The more you share it with people the more you will create leverage to strengthen your will to remain committed. When you commit yourself to others it is even more difficult for you to procrastinate on your commitment – and you can find friends to cheer you on.
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This is an excerpt from my Program the 10 Power Keys to Life Success. If you are interested to follow this up and get the full program just click on this link www.insightzonecoach.com/newoffer.html. For those of you who stumbled on this post, I am offering you the 10PK program at a killer price you won’t find again . Check it out at www.insightzonecoach.com/newoffer.html. If you are interested in one-to-one Coaching here’s my link for more information on how you can get a free 30 minute consultation: www.insightzonecoach.com/listsofservices.html
The Secret of Enjoying What You have to do – a Powerful Insight
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I’d like to share with you something that happened to me today which made me realize how important our perception of life is – a simple moment that really helped me to reflect and rush back to my laptop to write this.
I was off duty today and I woke at 7:30am.
The night before we had been up late watching a video and we had also had a late dinner and dashed to sleep immediately after.
As soon as I walked into the kitchen I was hit by a scene that resembled an Alien attack!…… the after effects of Dinner for six that threatened to spoil my chirpy morning mood.
And if you are like me… and I’m guessing most of you are, you don’t really get excited with the idea of washing the dishes.
So there I was, looking around the kitchen and taking in the scene. And I knew I had to take a decision. I would either do some dishes and do my part of the job reluctantly, thinking about what the next job I had to do…. or else I would totally FOCUS with mindfulness on the job at hand and get it done with.
Being trained as I now am to coach myself in such situations I decided to take up this challenge and start the dishes right away! And you know what, within a few minutes I had not only washed the dishes but I had also wiped them up, put them in place, cleaned the table and …. actually did not mind doing it either!
So let me share with you some reflections on this experience.
FOCUS fully on the specific task at hand: If you have a rather boring chore to do, don’t focus on the entire job, focus on the individual action you are doing. If you are washing the dishes don’t focus and think about the whole load of dishes you have to do. Just focus fully on the individual cup you are washing and give it its full attention. When we look at the whole load of work we have to do it will seem daunting. This is a trap that a lot of people with a tendency towards perfectionism fall into and this may lead to procrastination. But if you start your focus on the first cup or fork and just work through without fretting on what is left to do, you will be surprised at how fast you go through things. So just focus FULLY on that fork you are washing and give it full attention.
- Do the job with Intention. If you are washing the dishes wash with intention and immerse yourself in the moment. As I was washing the individual cups I focused on the mug I had brought from Disneyland, the plate that had a slight chip at the border and I also felt the bubbles around my hands as I washed each item with intention. Washing with intention is like a celebration of life, an appreciation that each moment is precious, that each chore- boring as it may seem, has a place in the circle of life. As I was washing I remembered a Zen teaching that states that when monks are washing rice they should wash each individual rice with awareness and love, remembering the work and toil the farmer had to go through to provide that individual kernel of rice in their plates. After I finished washing the dishes I looked up the internet for this story and found an entry from the ‘Rules of Purity for Chan Monasteries’ that states:
‘When washing rice, preparing vegetables, and so on, do so with your own hands, with close attention, vigorous exertion, and a sincere mind. Do not indulge in a single moment of carelessness or laziness. Do not allow attentiveness to one thing result in overlooking another. Do not yield a single drop in the ocean of merit; even a mountain of good karma can be augmented by a single particle of dust.’
‘When preparing meals, one should reflect intimately on one’s own self; the food will then of itself be pure and refined.’
‘Treat utensils such as tongs and ladles, and all other implements and ingredients, with equal respect; handle all things with sincerity, picking them up and putting them down with courtesy’.
Now I’m not saying that we should all become Zen monks and start chanting mantras at each other. However there is a lot of wise advice in the quotes above. The fact that you ‘respect’ the chore you are doing puts you into a state of intentional doing that helps you to immerse yourself and actually enjoy what you have to do.
- Time is Emotion: The time you spend doing a chore is not simply based on minutes or seconds. It is influenced by your PERCEPTION of time. If you decide to hate doing something time will seem unending notwithstanding the amount of time you actually spend doing it. However if you enjoy doing something or if you immerse yourself fully into the task, time will seem to fly. What I’m saying here is that the emotion you put yourself into will influence your perception of time. If your emotion is enjoyment, total interest or immersion in what you are doing, this emotion will influence your perception of time. In my case this morning, because I was immersing myself totally on the chore of washing the dishes and focusing on one item at a time with full intention, time just flew by and before you know it I had done even more than I had planned to do!
My final reflections for the day:
- List out any chores you have to do but do not feel really excited about.
- Choose one task and commit yourself to do it right away.
- Do not look at the whole task so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. Just look at the FIRST mini task you will do and start doing it….then go to the next and just focus on that. Continue doing this until you finish.
- Put intention, awareness and even love into what you are doing. Be aware of each movement you are doing and notice everything about the task you are doing
- Put yourself in an emotional state where you are enjoying or totally immersed in what you are doing and time will fly by.
- Celebrate finishing this task, even if it is a really small chore because the fact you went through it is a learning experience for other situations in life. Feel good about yourself!
Try this out with some chores you find tedious and then come back to this blog post and please LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS so that we all share our reflections.
Kahlil Gibran:
‘Work is love made visible. And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.’
7 Ways to Bash Your Negative Thinking and Self-Sabotage
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Negative thinking and self-sabotage are the main culprits that erode our self-esteem and the ability to be successful in life.
You can never really move forward in your life if you are shackled with a deep sense of limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging thinking that keeps you tied down to the swampy lowlands of mediocrity.
So today I’m going to give you 7 tips on how you can overcome this tendency to beat yourself black and blue and come out bright and shiny!
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1. Acknowledge the ‘Gremlin’ within you!
The gremlin that resides in your head may be fond of telling you how inadequate you are and that chances are you will not succeed to achieve your dreams and goals. He might say things like:
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‘You’ve never been good at this, why should you bother trying anyway?’
‘You’re gonna get burned if you try that. Don’t risk!’
‘Are you nuts! That’s too big a goal for you to achieve!’
‘You have always been a failure!’
Just become aware of your gremlin and acknowledge his presence. The bastard is there and he will hold on dearly for life and cling to your thoughts with all his power. But you do not have to humour him! When you catch yourself thinking these thoughts acknowledge what is happening, smile and imagine the ugly face of the gremlin staring at you. Than visualize yourself grabbing a broom and beating the crap out of him! Don’t let your thoughts be controlled by the Gremlin any more!
2. Challenge your Self sabotaging thoughts
Once you become aware of your Gremlin and you start refusing to be controlled by him you need to challenge your self-sabotaging thoughts. Have you ALWAYS failed in the past? Are you absolutely CERTAIN you are unable to go for a big challenge? Are you really such a TOTALLY hopeless failure? C’mon get real!
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3. Create new powerful beliefs
Write down your Gremlin favourite quotes and then create an opposite powerful belief.
If your gremlin tells you that you are an inadequate person create a powerful belief such as:
‘ I choose to be a successful person in all the activities I need to do. I am ABSOLUTELY confident in my ability to achieve anything I choose to do based on my values’.
Write it down this Belief in Bold letters and read it every morning and evening. The important thing is to load the belief with emotion while you are reading it. REALLY FEEL absolutely confident and let waves of certainty filter through you as you read the belief every day.
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4. Use your past Successes to gain confidence:
Look back into your past and find two or three occasions where you successfully achieved a goal you wanted to do.
Now don’t tell me you can’t think of one! That’s absolute BS and you know it!
So think of two situations where you felt proud of yourself and confident. Now feel those feelings of confidence and pride really well up and grow strong within you and just imagine you are closing yourself within a circle of light. Imagine that within this circle of light you are feeling completely confident, completely happy, totally certain of your abilities to succeed. Go out of the circle and leave those feelings within the circle. Then, whenever you want to feel confident before facing a challenge, just visualize yourself entering the circle and drink in those feelings of confidence, certainty, energy and boldness.
5. Hang out with positive people
You are a reflection of the people you associate with. So hang out with positive people. If you find yourself feeling drained in the presence of a person because of the negative talk and attitude he or she radiates, just avoid this person like the pestilence! If on the other hand you associate with positive people who are role models and who are naturally supportive to other people, you will find it so much easier to be positive yourself.
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6. Test the waters
You cannot really change your beliefs about yourself and beat back your Gremlin thoughts unless you take action. Start testing the waters by doing small things that get you out of your circle of influence. Let’s say you feel like crapping in your pants at the thought of talking in public. So just start small, make a presentation in front of family members first, then to a group of friends and gradually increase your confidence as you realize that Yes you CAN do it!
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7. Celebrate your success.
Each time you manage to do a small step forward acknowledge yourself and celebrate your success. Have an attitude of gratitude for the good things that are flowing in your life and for what you are achieving and who you are becoming in the process.
Start integrating these tips on a daily basis in your life and you will find yourself gaining more and more confidence and certainty.
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Get more Life Coaching tips by subscribing to my Free Weekly Newsletter at www.insightzonecoach.com
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Trash Your Tolerations – Right Away!
If you’re serious about being successful in every area of your life, you have to start eliminating the things you’re simply putting up with or tolerating.
Why? Because each and every thing you are tolerating drains your energy.
It tires you out and wears you down. And, if you don’t eliminate these tolerations, they’ll turn into bigger and ‘badder’ monsters and their negative effect will continue to get exponentially worse. That is why it is so important to first start your phase of Action by targeting Tolerations.
The benefits you gain from removing tolerations in your life are enormous.
You will stop wasting time, trying to manage situations that shouldn’t be there in the first place. By zapping away tolerations you will be releasing more energy that can be devoted to taking action on your Big Goals and on your quality of life.
There is also a greater opportunity for growth and contribution to others because you are not distracted or weighed down with tolerations.
Think about a time where you put up with something or someone. A situation which you knew in your heart was not good for you. It doesn’t have to be a big thing at all. Such a toleration could be from the ‘Soft’ Toleration group such as:
- a missing button in a jacket,
- an email In-box that gets fuller and fuller every time you look at it,
- having a filing system that is a mess,
- a Closet, Store room or Garage that looks like it’s just been hit by a Tsunami,
- not servicing your car, even though it needed to be looked at a month ago,
- time wasters (for example: how much time do you spend watching T.V. instead of doing something worthwhile.)
But it may also be from the ‘Hard’ Toleration group such as:
- a friend who is always bitching and moaning about life and never brings any positive energy to the table,
- a personal behavior such as the way you communicate, a negative habit such as smoking etc.,
- a job that you do not have your heart in,
- lack of free time to enjoy yourself,
- tolerating difficult relationships or issues when clear boundaries have not been established,
- lack of money or debt issues,
- disrespectful people,
- regular disruptions that set back your schedule.
Whatever it is, you must STOP tolerating!
Refuse to accept such situations that drain your energy.
When we eliminate tolerations we raise our standards and improve our quality of life. We will also attract more opportunities because our energy levels will be focused upon what we want to achieve not on what we need to tolerate. But until we stop tolerating, no significant changes can happen.
The formula is simple: to increase your natural power, eliminate the things that drain your energy and add the things that give you energy. Create boundaries and decide what you will no longer accept. Hence, your active first action to attain your Dream starts here.
You need to identify all the things you are tolerating in your life and take a specific action to eliminate them PERMANENTLY.
It is very important that you sit down and actually write the list because sometimes you may become so numb to your tolerations that it will be difficult to identify them unless you actually sit down and reflect for a while.
It is just like the hum of an air conditioner at night. You might sleep through the night with the hum at the background without noticing it. Then you might suddenly wake up just because the air conditioner stops for any reason and you suddenly become aware that the sound is not there anymore. Probably it’s only then that you realize how quiet the room is!
So be completely honest with yourself about what needs to go, what’s causing you stress, and what constantly drains you.
Now what I am going to suggest is that you identify some Tolerations that you normally live with and then start trying to zap them out. The TolerationTrasher© Exercise is the tool I usually use for this but you can do it on your own simply by identifying the hard and soft tolerations that you normally put up with then making a commitment to start removing them one by one.
By writing your tolerations down you are already starting the process of controlling them. I would also suggest that you buddy up with someone else who is interested in the process. Exchange your list of tolerations and you can do a friendly competition to see who manages to zap the first few tolerations first.
Once you have identified all the tolerations in the first part of the exercise you choose 5 tolerations to start working on IMMEDIATELY. I would advice that the first 2 tolerations should be from the ‘Soft’ group- easy tolerations that you can quickly eliminate and control.
The important thing is that once you have come up with your first two tolerations – take your first action to eliminate them TODAY – Right away. No excuses- JUST DO IT!
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