Archive for June, 2010
Are you a Judge or a Curious Explorer?
We all have a tendency to judge the situations that happen in our life and the people that we rub shoulder with.
‘But hey’, you might say, ’don’t we all love to give our opinion and bitch about a situation or a person at times?’
True enough. But the question is: Does this really empower us? Do we feel better deep inside when we are doing this as a daily habit?
Life today requires us to take decisions fast… and because of this there is a tendency to judge a situation and others without reflection.
But when we spend too much time judging, dwelling on the past, or imagining the future, we miss the beauty and power of the moment. We start asking the wrong questions and our focus becomes negatively attuned.
If we have a judging mind the type of questions we normally ask on a daily basis are:
What’s wrong with this person?
What’s wrong with this situation?
What’s wrong with me?
What do I need to do to stay in control?
Who is to blame; who’s fault is it?
How can I win and make this bastard loose?
How can this go wrong?
Why does this always happen to me?
If it failed before why won’t it fail again?
Most of the time such a mind set reflects a sense of lack of trust and fear - lack of trust in one’s personal capabilities and a lack of trust in others.
Most of the time this is driven by FEAR – fear of failure, inadequacy and fear due to scarcity mentality. Instead of believing there is enough out there for everyone, we fear that unless we bear our teeth and lash out at the world we will not enjoy the spoils of the survivors.
Research show that human being only naturally fear three things: falling, high places, and tight spaces. But a judging mind creates fear by focusing on a negative ‘what if’ and imagining a terrible future. Fear will make us live a contracted life. We feel physically and emotionally contracted when we live in fear. On the other hand, the opposite emotion of fear is love. Love helps us to expand to the world. We feel grounder, energized, and in touch with our whole being – in other words a state of bliss.
It’s true that we do have to be smart in the world. We must be open to act on the opportunities that life presents us - doing otherwise would be irresponsible. If we do not use our God given talents and if we do not become the best that we can be, we will be rescinding on our Life Purpose.
But this does not have to be at the expense of others.
We can be winners in life and still build bridges and help others to achieve success too.
If we embrace the Curious Explorer mind-set we are more likely to be open to others and feel a sense of curiosity and awe about life – the awe we lost for the world as we started growing up and becoming ‘smarter’.
If we become Curious Explorers the type of questions we would ask would be:
What is the meaning of this experience?
What is there to feel gratitude for here?
What new experience can I enjoy?
What can I learn from this?
What are the choices I can take?
How can I become excited with the possibilities I see?
How can this help me and others?
How can I tap my growth and potential in this situation?
Asking the right questions will put us in a mind frame of positive exploration for solutions rather than in a ‘blame culture’ mind set.
So if you find yourself trapped in the Judging mentality ask yourself:
- What fear is fueling this feeling?
- What can I learn about myself and my beliefs from this fear I have?
- What can I feel gratitude for?
- What is wonderful about this situation/person?
Remember by nurturing Love for life you will be banishing fear.
The Dragonfly Story
Death remains the ultimate mystery.
We have no positive proof that anyone ever came back from the dead to tell the story of what awaits us after this life. You might refer to the Resurrection of Christ if you are a Believer and there are also the ever increasing reports of Near Death Experiences that continuously gain more credibility as study after study fails to disprove the possibility that consciousness remains beyond physical existence.
But in the end it is up to you to believe or disbelieve in life after death… and this is my statement that I truly believe that we do survive death… and that life on earth is a journey that provides us with opportunities to develop ourselves and to experience the beauty of life.
Today, one of my Coaching Clients was telling me how much she misses her mother who passed away a few years.
The client was very close to her mum and so I thought I would dedicate a post to her. My client is a very brave lady in spite of some challenges in life and I wanted to write this as a reminder that death is not the final word in the chapter of Being and existence. I am sure many of you know the story but it’s worth revisiting:
The Dragonfly Story
Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs. They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.
“Look!” said one of the water bugs to another. “one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going?” Up, up, up it slowly went….Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return…
“That’s funny!” said one water bug to another. “Wasn’t she happy here?” asked a second… “Where do you suppose she went?” wondered a third.
No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. “I have an idea”. “The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.”
“We promise”, they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.
When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings…The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!
Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.
The dragonfly remembered the promise: “the next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why.” Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water…
“I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least, I tried. But I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what has happened to me, and where I went.”
And the dragonfly winged off happily into its wonderful new world of sun and air…….
Thank you God, for the story of the water bugs and the dragonflies.
Remember that your dear relatives who have passed on to a better life may be nearer to you than you realize!
Open yourself up to Opportunities
Wow!
I never cease to amaze myself with the opportunities that life presents to those who take risks and test the waters – to those who have an abundance mentality!
Yesterday, I had two meetings with a couple of very interesting persons who hail in some way from the self-help field. I was impressed by the work these two people are doing and it is a privilege for me to have met them and added them to my list of new friends and potential partners.
It’s incredible how many people are out there doing a lot of interesting and exciting things … and it is really great when you get to connect with these people and start networking.
Now you might be saying ” Well maybe it’s going dandy for you Reggie , but how can I trigger off some opportunities for myself then?’
I’ll let you in on a simple but powerful insight.
Having a clear focus of what you want in life and taking action seems to trigger off a chain of events that lead to breakthroughs in your life. You start to attract towards you the experiences you are focusing on.
That’s why it is important to discover what’s your passion in life…what you really want to create…what Big Dream you want to achieve.
And when you do that …and when you start taking Massive Action it is as if Providence responds too and you start noticing ‘coincidences’ happening in your life – potential opportunities that hang out in front of you like a ripe juicy peach waiting to be picked.
As my Life Coaching experience continues to mature I find myself manifesting more and more opportunities in life, more chances of making a difference in other people’s life and more potential to develop new ideas. I am getting to meet new clients, new partners and new people who have exciting ideas and skills.
There is Abundance in the Universe – a limitless tapestry of opportunities waiting to be tapped….. but you first have to be clear about what you want; what is your Life Purpose; what you truly value in life; what opportunities you want to take; what Big Dream you want to achieve.
And when you do that and when you identify what truly flows from your True Nature and what drives your fulfillment – TAKE YOUR FIRST ACTION and sharpen your attention to identify opportunities – and take them.
So are you ready to test the waters like cutie pussy cat?
Are you ready to stop finding reasons why you are not achieving success and start focusing on getting results?
Take the first step to live a life of Abundance and passion.
And if you want some help on the way visit www.insightzonecoach.com or else check out my List of Services by clicking HERE
Live within the moment
Is your life a Speedy Gonzales cartoon?
Do you find yourself rushing from one task to another without actually BEING in the moment?
How many times do you find yourself coursing through life making yourself busy with tasks that probably give you little meaning or fulfillment. How many times do you pass through life without a second thought… without appreciating the beauty that lies around you?
This week as I was jogging I just realized how much we take things for granted and through self-discipline, I stopped myself in my tracks as I came upon a field. My ‘doing’ person was saying ‘Reggie, are you nuts – get your arse back on the track and don’t waste time’
But my ‘being’ person was telling me ‘ Stop Reggie, and drink the moment’…. and I did.
For a moment I stopped my jogging and just breathed in the scene and watched the details of the leaves on the tree, the bee that was hovering over a sunflower, the sound of a dog barking in the distance and the soft caress of the wind as it glided along the beads of sweat forming on my face.
Aaah! how nice it is to stop and live the moment…
and as I was enjoying this pastoral moment a flock of pigeons swooped in perfect formation before me….. and I felt the powerful connection to life, the feeling that everything is in order and that we are all connected to the ALL.
So next time you go jogging or walking don’t just drift through the chore aimlessly. Put on the breaks when you arrive at a beautiful scene and drink in the moment… it will be taste of life you will truly savour if you are true to yourself.
